I apparently don't live here due to a dozen reasons

So here’s this listicle from a local website: Only a true Vancouverite has done ALL 12 of these things. Despite being born and spending most of my life here, I am not a “true Vancouverite” by this article’s standards.
Let’s go down this list.
1 - Complained about the weather
Sure. It rains for half of the year. However, is this really a Vancouver thing?
2 - Watched the sun go down at Kits beach
The only time I have been at the beach near sunset is to see the fireworks which happen around this time every summer. So maybe I have, but it wasn’t an aim.
3 - Tried to lay in the arms of the A-maze-ing Laughter statue
I have walked by this installation a billion times and not once have I ever considered this.
4 - Waited for the Steam Clock whistle to go off
5 - Drooled over Lee’s honey dip donuts
Drooled? No. I’d rather go to Cartem’s or Lucky’s. I’ve had these doughnuts and they’re fine, but I am not going to rave about them.
6 - Accidentally took the bridle path back while cycling in Stanley park
Cycling through Stanley Park is an exercise in misery.
7 - Spent hours in Breka to “work”
No.
8 - Made friends with geese along the seawall
Listen, nobody in their right mind likes these birds.
9 - Sat in the streetcar inside the Old Spaghetti factory
I can lay claim to having eaten at most of their locations. I probably have sat in one of the streetcars they have in a few of their locations, but it isn’t a goal.
10 - Spent a huge chunk of your pay cheque on rent
There are many ways to discuss rent in Vancouver, but so far everything here has largely been tourist-y so… what?
11 - Shared your hiking stories with friends
Not really? I guess there is that story about finding fresh cougar tracks while outside of Ucluelet, but that is on Vancouver Island.
12 - Awed at the beauty of UBC Forest Sciences Centre’s study space
Despite having spent some time at UBC, I have not.