One of the things I’ve been slowly doing the past year is spending less time online. I’ve noticed that since doing so that my mental health has been easier to manage and I have had a better relationship with my body. Is what I am about to say going to apply to everyone? No. But I do want to share my experiences.

I’ve been an online person for a very long time. I have my career due to my online activities, I’ve appeared in the press due to my online activities, and many if not all of my friends I owe in one way or another to being online. The Internet has been for better or for worse the reason for my life being the way it is today.

However, one of the things I’ve noticed is that while I have a lot of great long distance connections, it’s the connections I make in person I’ve always done better with. During the first year of COVID, this became acutely aware to me because many of those links became strained and limited. I couldn’t engage in the same activities as I did before. I just wanted a goddamn hug and aside from my partner and a handful in my bubble, that was it.

This ate at my extroverted personality so much that it probably played a role in my then partner and I separating. It made me make some pretty terrible decisions dating-wise soon after and it also made me reengage in some activities that my past-self had sworn off. I often joke that COVID “didn’t at all leave me with mental health challenges”, but the sarcastic statement was for sure untrue because I earlier this year admitted here on cohost that I was struggling but working to turn things around.

It goes a bit further than that, as in summer 2022, it started to dawn upon me how bad things were and I piecemeal had to figure out what to do. Two successive incidents across a bit over a week in August of that year clued me into where my brain was at. I had to change things in my life and my online activities were part and parcel to that.

When I say I have been an online person for a long time, I am not joking. Over two decades of being on IRC, message boards, and social media have built a legacy in my own head. In reflection, a lot of it was not a waste (as evident by the wonderful friends I have been blessed with), but so much shit I did online is seen by me now as a waste of time. This is not to say that what I consider as a waste to be without benefit, as I can argue that I am the person I am today because of it, but how much of that waste really mattered ultimately?

Five years ago, I would have come home from work and then would go straight on to my laptop. Now? I come home from work and I want to watch TV, play a game by myself, or socialise.

I joined softball this past year and it was the first time I’ve done a sport since I injured myself out of roller derby–I have hip problems now. It was also the first time I’ve picked up softball since 2007 and since I dislocated my shoulder that same year. Playing the sport clued me into something: I need human interaction and it has to be at the same level and same stakes as where I am.

I also picked up photography again (of which I will be posting about here on cohost eventually), got back into dancing after an eight year hiatus (I used to on the regular do Cuban Salsa and briefly West Coast Swing), formed a renewed interest in birding, and have gone and done day trips for the sake of doing day trips.

I still want to do the nerdy things I love, but i also want to just get far away from technology short of having my mobile phone on hand. Camping in situations where my phone is useless is really important to me for example–I am likely doing camping in the winter just to make it clear how much I like being outside.

One of the drawbacks of all of this is that I just have less to post on cohost because oddly I have content to consume outside. I want to see my friends and I want to go do the things because that is what my brain wants me to do. This has also meant that my streaming on Twitch has been greatly reduced, because it was starting to severely stress me out having to maintain some artificial schedule at the expense of being able to see people in person.

So the decision I’ve made is to be social and not stress about the social media. I’m going to do the hikes, the photoshoots, the dancing, and the hanging out. I’m also going to keep COVID and other ailments in mind. However, I am not going to stress out about what is online.

I should have seen this mentality coming really. A year before Twitter became what it is today, I had noticed that I was posting on it far less. Heck, even on Facebook I started to post a lot less sometime around 2019. The only social media besides cohost I give a damn about is Instagram, and what I post on there is really just a lot of IRL stuff.

What I have come to the conclusion of here is really for me. It works for me because I do have some level of privilege. I live somewhere that has exceeded the low-bar for public transportation in North America, I own a car and can drive to things public transit is not capable of providing access; I have a modest income, and while I have health challenges, none of them are limiting me from going to places. This is why I know what I am writing about is not going to reflect upon everyone, but I can at least give you all pause for thought.

This also doesn’t diminish the importance of online communities. For many, it is what works for them be it due to circumstances or just due to who they are ultimately. It is just for me, it isn’t the be all end all and while it could revert in the future, for now I feel like this is what works for me. I’m still keeping tabs on what is affecting the world I must add, but I am just consuming it at a pace that works for me.

If online stuff is stressing you out, consider my post as a guide and not a ruler.