This past weekend marked the end of my first softball season play in over a decade. I’m feeling those blues where I know that this week I won’t be heading out to a nearby park to spend a few hours playing fastpitch. It has been a life-changing experience for me and I feel like I need to let off a happy vent here on cohost.

Until I was no longer a kid, I found sports alienating to play. I was discouraged from playing soccer as a child because I felt an immense pressure on me to perform a certain way instead of enjoying it all. I never had an outlet where I felt comfortable to play on a team and increasingly latched on to insular hobbies that were not great avenues for me to be social.

When I had entered adulthood, I had a few false starts.

I played softball on a co-ed team and found myself alienated due to an inability to really connect with folks on the team and some of the violence I had to witness. I moved away from the city I was then living in so that whole part of my life came and went rather quickly.

When I came out, i decided to give roller derby a try. I never made it beyond playing scrimmages and eventually injured myself so badly that I now sometimes walk with a cane when I stress out my hip too much. The community was great, but it required so much energy out of me to be part of it.

So after a major operation in 2019, I made a decision to give softball a try in the next year after learning of a local league for queer folk and marginalised genders. However, we all know what happened in 2020 and I had forgotten all about this plan of mine until my girlfriend on our first date reminded me of my desire to join as she played for a team in the league.

In February, after going to a meetup and giving my details, 18 of us random strangers were given a coach and we had formed a team after the league decided to expand the division we were put in. Nobody on this team I knew prior to and I definitely was out of my element, but I wanted to play so badly and we were being given this chance.

We began to practice in March and while annoyingly I had caught COVID in late April (I went over a thousand days without catching it), I played my first game in early May. Something was different: I liked who I played with and I wanted to know these teammates of mine. Yes. They were all strangers, but we didn’t have any past with each other and we had to form bonds.

For a team with a varied background of some softball to absolutely none, we managed to briefly be first in our division and then eventually finished the season third with only one point separating us from the second place team. We absolutely could improve (and will), but we were having fun and kicking butt.

The teams we played against had quality people and I eventually found myself socialising with them too. I’d check out my girlfriend’s team and they’d all know who I am on a first-name basis. It just felt right on every turn to be there in the league. I even had the privilege to play as a substitution for another team in our division towards the end of the season and had a delightful time. There were just so many lovely people I had the pleasure of both meeting and both playing with and against.

This past weekend, we had our finals tournament and we won three of our four games. If it were not only for us being two points short, we’d have played in the final game of the tournament. There were a bunch of photos of us huddling together in a group hug and we made sure our coach knew how much she meant to us for getting us together and showing us how to be a team. We went from being strangers to friends.

Last year, I knew things were bad with me with respect to what I was doing when I was not working my day job. All I knew to do was work more after finishing the day and it became quite apparent at the end of last summer that this was making me seriously ill.

I’m so glad that I found my footing with this ragtag group which became a good team. We all come from various backgrounds and lifestyles and yet we’re able to make this magic happen out on the field.

I cried a bit yesterday when we had finished our last game and had our post-game huddle. All I am thinking about is next season, but at least I know next month we’re getting together for a weekend getaway of which I cannot wait to happen.

If you’re in Vancouver and want to watch some of our games next season, let me know! We do love having fans coming out to watch.